Back to school, back to school...

I really should be better at updating this. I guess it's hard to update it regularly when not many people read it! haha. Oh well, this is more for me and keeping an update occasionally, I guess. Anywho. Spencer and I are back in school :( But it is also kind of exciting at the same time! Spencer has just one class left that he is taking. We were actually taking it together, but since we couldn't find babysitting for Xavier I had to drop the class. One of the professors for the class said that we couldn't take him to class (which I totally understand), so I had to drop it and will take it next semester. Totally hate that! I don't want to take the class, so taking it with Spencer was going to help motivate both of us. Ugh.

Anyway! I am excited, though, because I have some awesome stuff going on this semester. There is this class called WDA (writers, dramaturgs, actors) that selects 3-6 plays every fall semester and workshops them in the class. Well one of my plays got selected! So I am in the process of writing a murder mystery play and it is being workshopped every Wednesday for the rest of the semester! SO exciting! It's going to be a lot of work but I am super excited about it. I am actually going to pitch my play as a project to direct next semester. So if it gets approved then I will be directing my own full length show next semester!! yay!!! Here's to hoping on that!

Another exciting thing about this semester is that I got offered to TA positions in the Theatre Department. So I am TA-ing the first theatre production class (mostly freshman), and I am also a TA for the class where you direct a mask-club. So the one-act show that I directed last fall, I'm not TA-ing that class this fall! woot woot! I am so excited for it! I get to do something I love and get paid for it!

So basically the only thing that is really hard about this semester is Xavier. He had a really rough week with me going back to school. He has turned out to be quite the mama's boy, so he really struggled with me being gone for a few hours at least once a day, sometimes twice a day. So that's going to be rough. It's hard to be away from him, but I figured my schedule out as well as I could so that I can spend as much time at home with him as possible. But we shall see!

Other than that we are just going about life. Spencer is still working at the LDS Motion Picture Studio. We are grateful he has this job, but it's definitely not what he wants to do forever. He is grateful to be editing videos, but these aren't the type of videos he wants to be editing. He doesn't have a ton of creative freedom and that's hard on him, but he's plugging along and doing his best there. We are doing our best to be good parents to Xavier. He is such a little sweetie! He makes us laugh every day. He has quite the personality shining through an it's great. Although he is very mischievous, so we have to really watch him sometimes! haha. He is such a joy and we are loving being his parents. :)

Life

Well we have just been dealing with life lately. It's been a little tough, if you haven't been paying attention to my facebook :) But if you're reading this you probably have been reading my facebook. Well I am going to back up a little.

We are loving our little Xavier! He is such a sweet, wonderful baby boy! He really is so well behaved and makes our lives so wonderful. He has such an adorable smile and he shares it with us a lot. It is amazing. He has also started giggling and laughing occasionally. And his noises are adorable. He loves floor time and is so squirmy and wiggly. He makes us so happy. We are so grateful he joined our family and we enjoy him and love him more than I could ever describe in words!

The difficult thing is right as we were really adjusting and I was starting to feel fine going out and about with him (nursing takes awhile to get the hang of!), Spencer got sick. He was sick for a couple weeks and wasn't getting better, so he went to an urgent care and found out he had a back viral infection that would have turned into bronchitis if he hadn't gotten it taken care of. So I am glad he went in so we could nip that in the bud. But just as he was starting to feel better, I started having horrible abdominal pains. This happened late Wednesday night on April 9th. I had a very sudden onset of horrible pain that had me doubled over and whimpering. But I didn't have insurance so I sat up all night in the living room in horrible pain. It faded away during the day but hit again the next night. Friday I went to urgent care and the doctor was pretty sure I had gallstones. He prescribed me pain medication and antibiotics and got an ultrasound set up for me. But the ultrasound wasn't until Monday morning. So I went all weekend with this pain off and on. The ultrasound on Monday proved that my gallbladder was full of stones and that my common bile duct was inflamed and blocked. So we found out that I needed to have my gallbladder removed and we freaked out a little bit. I held off, dealing with the pain. Last Thursday night I decided not to take the Lortab I had been described. Well I woke up in excruciating pain. I took a lortab and it did nothing. At that point I begged Spencer to take me to the ER. I was quickly taken to a room where I got in a gown, they put an IV  in me and gave me morphine. Spencer got a few laughs out of seeing me on that!!!

They did an ultrasound and the doctor came in afterward and said things looked pretty yucky. The gallstones had gotten in my common bile duct and backed up my liver (which didn't surprise me, because we had noticed my eyes turning yellow the night before), and my liver was inflamed. They admitted me to the hospital and added me to the surgeons list to have my gallbladder removed later that day. Spencer and I frantically started trying to figure out getting help to watch Xavier. My wonderful sister, Nina, jumped in and said she would take Xavier for the day. So Spencer went home and got a bag prepared and my sister came down and took Xavier. It was so hard for me to let him go, but I knew that he was in wonderful hands and would do well with her. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink since I was going to have surgery later in the day.The surgery went well, but during it they confirmed that I had stones stuck in my bile duct, so they scheduled an ERCP for me the next morning. Once I woke up and got back to my room, Spencer was there waiting--thank heavens!!!! He ordered clear liquids for me, since I was cleared to have clear liquids. He basically had to feed me because I was so tired and groggy. Nina brought Xavier back down that night and I enjoyed seeing him, but I was so out of it! I wanted to cry when Spencer took Xavier home for the night. I was so out of it all night that night (I was on morphine and anti-nausea medication). But I remember nurses coming in and poking and prodding throughout the night, and early in the morning they came in and took me down for the ERCP. So I went under again for the second time in less than 24 hours (not my idea of fun!). The procedure went well and I was soon awake and alert. They took me back up to my room, but with the instructions to not let me eat or drink anything. So day two of eating no food.
My mom came down that day to help with Xavier (Saturday). Spencer brought her and Xavier to the hospital and seeing them made me so happy! They stayed until Xavier started getting hungry and they had to go home (I couldn't nurse him for 24 hours). I almost cried after they left because I was so lonely. I asked Spencer to come back by himself later since my mom was there to watch Xavier. So he came back later that evening and stayed with me for a few hours. It was so wonderful to have him with me! I don't do well completely alone in a hospital room, apparently. After he left I almost cried again. I went to bed again without being able to eat or drink still, so I was really not feeling great!

Luckily the next morning I was finally able to go home. I didn't get the ok to drink anything until the GI doctor finally came in my room around 9:45am. He said I looked good and could go home. As soon as he left my room I asked Spencer to fill up my water bottle. Water has seriously never tasted so good!!! After some more waiting around I was finally released. It was so amazing. They wheeled me out to the car in a wheelchair and it was so good to be outside. It was a beautiful Sunday, Easter Sunday! The sun was shining and the trees were blooming and I could smell the flowers when we got outside. I couldn't stop smiling the whole way to the car. Spencer helped me up to our apartment and I was heaved a huge sigh of relief. It was so wonderful to be home.

Spencer was able to stay home with me all day yesterday (Monday), and that was really nice. My mom came down Monday night and stayed with me part of today to help out. It was so helpful! She cleaned up the kitchen and helped with Xavier. It was so helpful and I was grateful to not be alone just yet. I was alone for a few hours because Spencer didn't get home from work for a few more hours, but Xavier did wonderfully! Love that little boy so much!

So basically life has been really stressful, but I am home! I am really sore, increasingly more so today. So I've pretty much been completely stuck on the couch tonight, which is probably a good thing. I'll be on my own tomorrow, which I'm a bit nervous for, but I'm sure it will be okay. :) I just can't wait to be recovered and try to get back to normal life! What I would give for a boring day. I guess I'm not going to really get much of those anymore now that we have a baby. But I can handle that :)

Xavier Kade Johnson

It has been forever since I've posted! We recently welcomed a new addition to out family and we are completely in love with him already! Xavier was born on Valentine's Day--of course! Now I might actually like Valentine's Day, haha. As I said we are already so in love with him. He is so adorable and such a sweet baby. He is so well behaved and so expressive. We love just watching him because he is so interesting to watch. He also is very strong.

Anyway, I don't know if everyone is interested, but I figured I would write a little about his birth, since some people seem interested in knowing. So I will just jump in! I was getting SO done with being pregnant. I just wanted him to come because I was so sick of carrying him around in my stomach. So how happy was I when I woke up around 5am on Valentine's day feeling like I had been working out all night. I woke up with consistent contractions but just piddled around the apartment, unsure of if it was the real thing. It felt different from the Braxton Hicks contractions I'd had, but I didn't want to cause a big fuss if it wasn't the real thing. Around 6:30 I woke Spencer up to go on a walk with me because I wanted to see if my contractions would get worse. But before we could go on a walk I decided I didn't want to go because the contractions were steadily getting more painful. I talked to my sister Kat on the phone for awhile and she said it certainly seemed like I was in real labor and encouraged me to call my doctor. I finally did end up calling him and had a contraction while I was on the phone with him, so he told me to go to the hospital and get checked. That definitely put us in gear. We took showers and got ready to go to the hospital. We got the carseat installed and finally headed over. Driving over was not the most pleasant experience, but we live really close to the hospital and I was grateful for that! We got parked and had to walk a ways to get to the right place, and I was absolutely sure this was for real because I could no longer walk/talk during contractions. So we got to the hospital around 10am and it took awhile before I was taken to a room and was able to get checked to see my progress. I was 5cm dilated when they checked me, which made Spencer and me very happy! This was definitely it and we were going to have a baby by that evening! Things had been going pretty well to this point and I wanted to have him naturally, so I kept breathing through contractions. Spencer was so great! He helped me to concentrate on my breathing and relaxing through the contractions. They increased pretty quickly. In my birth plan I said wanted intermittent monitoring, and I didn't want a constant IV, and they were very accommodating. They put in an IV that they could just put caps on and give me stuff when I needed it. I quickly got to a point where I was starting to have a really hard breathing and relaxing through contractions. I was starting to want to give up and really not thinking I could do it. I broke down a few times and Spencer was so encouraging and loving. I could not have done it without him. I really needed him and he was so helpful. When I really started struggling he told me to focus on his voice, as he was counting and telling me when to breathe. It was very helpful. I got to the point where the contractions were so painful that I asked the nurse if there was anything they could give me just to take the edge off. She said I was too far along at that point that I couldn't have anything. That was both saddening and also very encouraging! If I had gotten this far I could do it, right?! I got to a point where I really wanted to start pushing and I told the nurse that. She came over and helped me figure out how to push. I was very grateful that our doctor, Doctor Jacob, was able to get there. Things were progressing quickly enough that we weren't sure if he was going to make it or not! But thankfully he got there pretty soon after I started pushing.

When he got there and they were checking me they told me my water was still in tact. So Dr. Jacob broke my water and things kept going quickly! I guess I started pushing around 1:45pm. Pushing was so painful, but also very relieving. It felt so much better to push through the contractions. And I actually pushed a lot more during each contraction than normal, I guess. Most women get in three good pushes per contraction. For me, because of the pressure I was feeling, I was pushing 5-6 times per contraction. At this point I was totally out of it and in my own zone. I was so oblivious to what was going on around me. I was so focused on pushing during contractions and relaxing between them. Spencer was so amazing through it all! Again, I have no idea what I would have done without him. He counted for me when I was pushing and was encouraging me the whole time. I was so out of it that when Xavier came out I didn't even realize it until I heard him screaming. And he definitely came out screaming! He has quite the set of lungs (he just doesn't use them very frequently)! I had requested delayed cord clamping, so they did that and then let Spencer cut the cord. They immediately put baby on my chest for skin to skin time. He was all icky but absolutely beautiful! I held him while Dr. Jacob stitched me up. I had a second degree tear, so I got to hold our sweet baby while they stitched me all up. Eventually they took Xavier to look him over. He was 7lbs. 3 oz and 19" long. And he was healthy! It was all the road to recovery at that point. Eventually they took Xavier down to the nursery and Spencer went along. I was in the room alone for awhile and I had a moment of euphoria. I just had a baby! And I did it unmedicated and completely natural! I was so amazed and proud... and sore! And I was exhausted. I just wanted to sleep but couldn't because I was uncomfortable. Eventually the nurse came in to take me down to Mother and Baby to get situated in our room. That was so uncomfortable! Normally being in a wheelchair would be great, but I was so sore that sitting in a chair was horrible! They helped me get into the bed (which was much more comfortable than the labor and delivery bed, but still very uncomfortable!) and I just relaxed and chatted with the nurse that helped me in labor and delivery and the new nurse that was going to be helping me on the mom and baby floor. It made me so proud when the new nurse found out that I did it all unmedicated. They kind of praised me and I really can't tell you how wonderful it made me feel.

When Spencer and baby got back I was so happy. They encouraged me to try nursing, which I wanted to try anyway. So long story short, Spencer and I wanted to leave the hospital as soon as possible. One night there was more than enough for us! But Xavier was having a hard time eating and we could tell one of the nurses really didn't want to let us leave, but we were insistent, so we were able to leave on the 15th. It was pretty late when we left, and then we ran to Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions. We were so happy to get home and be in our own space! It is much more comfortable than the hospital.

Xavier continued to struggle with eating until Monday night when my milk came in. Oh boy! That was an interesting experience. I was very grateful, though, because Xavier started eating better. Nursing was still a struggle and I totally broke down a few times. It hurt so bad sometimes and I just was really struggling. I went to a lactation consultant on Friday-exactly one week after he was born, and I kicked myself for not going earlier! She was sooo helpful and made me feel so much better about it. He did a great job and I was so happy to finally know how to get a good latch, and I knew that Xavier could do it. It was so encouraging and I have been much more optimistic. Xavier has been doing a lot better with nursing and I don't feel like giving up constantly, so I think that's a great sign.

Overall we have just been absolutely loving having him home with us. He completely has Spencer wrapped his finger and it is adorable! Spencer loves cuddling him. When he got home from work tonight I was holding Xavier on my chest. Spencer immediately wanted to take him and snuggle him but I told Spencer to eat dinner first and he reluctantly agreed. haha. We love our little boy so much and think he is just perfect!

Happenings

I haven't written in forever! Well I am 24 weeks pregnant as of today and I am enjoying it much more than before. Most of you probably already know that we are having a little boy and we are SOOO excited about it! I have been feeling him moving more lately and I absolutely love it. Spencer felt him move for the first time last Friday night. It was very fun and very cool :) It still takes me off guard sometimes when he kicks me hard and I jump (including during the middle of class!) haha.

School is going well. We are so busy! We are both directing a mask club (a one-act) play this semester for our directing practicum class. It is very fun but very stressful and busy. I have been rehearsing for mine for a few weeks now and it actually performs on November 7. So less than two weeks now! Bah!! I am so exciting/nervous. We still have a long way to go and I'm a little nervous but I have wonderful actors. So as long as we keep moving forward it should be a fun show! If you want to read the script I wrote for it, you can read it here. I would love more feedback on the script since I do still plan to work on this script because it is far from a final draft! Spencer has been helping me a lot as he is acting as my stage manager, but he really has been more of an assistant director for me. He has such a great eye for directing. He really is so talented and I love how much he has been helping me with my show.

I submitted a couple plays to KCACTF. It is basically a playwriting competition that BYU participates in. So as a student I was able to submit a few plays. I sent in the Newly Wed one that I am directing for my mask club, and I wrote a 10 minute play over the span of 2 days, spending about 5 hours to come up with a rough draft. And it is just that, a rough draft. But it's something I have been wanting to start on for awhile, so submitting it to KCACTF made me start it. If you want to read it, you can here.

Overall we are doing well. Freaking out a little bit that I am getting closer to having our baby. We are excited for him to come but we are also very nervous. Thankfully we still have a little bit, but time is flying so fast I know he's going to be here before we know it. Yikes!

If you are in the area and would like to see the one-act play I've been directing, it performs Thursday, November 7 at BYU in the NELKE theatre at 1, 2, and 4pm.

Pregnancy

Well if I'm being perfectly honest, I don't really like being pregnant so far. I'm only 14 weeks (I'll be 15 weeks on Saturday) and I don't know if it's just because I'm short and have a very short torso/waist, but I already have a belly. If I'm already showing I don't even want to know how big I am going to get later! I'm uncomfortable a LOT. What kills me the most is the lack of energy. I am so tired all of the time, which if you know me very well, know how extremely frustrating that is to me. I am always going and keeping myself very busy, but that has gone to pot in the past while! I just feel so bad that I can't do as much around the apartment as I used to do, especially with Spencer working as hard as he is. I feel really bad that I'm not going to be able to help when we move in a couple weeks. I have started packing a little bit here and there and apparently I can't pick up heavy things. If I pick up something a little too heavy my stomach kills me afterward. It's just very frustrating to me because I hate not being to help and do more.
Spencer, however, is amazing. He gets after me frequently to make sure that I don't overdo it. And he gets after me if I try to lift too much. I don't know why it's such a big deal for me, I know it's not as big a deal for some pregnant women, but it just kills my stomach to lift a whole lot. Anyway, Spencer is fabulous and is so wonderful all of the time! I could not have asked for a more patient, loving husband. I've actually been sicker in the past week or so than I was my entire first trimester and he has been so wonderful. Spencer is such a caring person and I am so, so lucky to have him in my life!
Despite my frustrations with pregnancy already, we are extremely happy. We already love this baby so much and are looking forward to my next appointment. It's next Wednesday (1 week, yay!!!) evening and I can't wait. After the appointment I will schedule my next one for 20 weeks for the gender scan. We are anxiously waiting for that! We are hoping for a boy but of course will be happy either way. I just can't wait until I can start feeling the baby-it might make it a little more real. And I am SO excited for when Spencer can feel our baby move. I absolutely loves it when he rubs my belly, I just can't wait until he can put his hand there and feel our baby kick back.
Our main thing we are looking forward to/dreading is moving. We are so happy to be moving into a different apartment. It's much better than our current apartment. It's a lot bigger and has a washer and dryer and a dishwasher. I cannot even express my joy over not having to hand-wash all of our dishes. And also my complete joy over being able to do laundry any time we need/want to. I'm also just very excited to be in a place that is more homelike. I am ready to not have cinderblock walls! haha. This has been a wonderful first apartment, but we are very grateful we found the place we did to move into it. Anyway. We are doing well. We are very happy, but kinda dreading school starting in a couple weeks! haha.
As for moving, I will put this out there. Since I won't be of much help in the moving process we would REALLY appreciate any help anyone can offer. We are moving from September 5-7. It's a Thursday-Saturday. Thursday and Friday will be more in the afternoon/evening and then Saturday we will just go until we are done. Any help really would be appreciated. Since I can't really move the boxes very easily I will be cleaning our old apartment and unpacking in our new apartment, trying to contribute in some way! haha. I know Spencer would be so grateful for any help though!

And then there were three!

Yep, we are expecting our first little one! And yes it was completely unexpected! haha. So I figured I would just tell our little story. If you've read my blog you will have seen that I had super irregular periods, and I found out I had high pro-lactin levels which basically meant it was going to be very difficult for us to get pregnant. Which we decided was great! I wanted to graduate and work for a year or so as a Stage Manager before having a baby, so 2015 at the earliest. Well back in May/June I started feeling really tired a lot. I didn't think too much of it because I was REALLY busy, so I figured I was just running myself into the ground. Then in June I had a couple other symptoms come up and the fatigue got worse. I couldn't make it through a day without a nap--seriously.

Spencer kept getting after me to take a pregnancy test and I kept pushing it off. "It's just my body being weird again. I know it's going to be negative to what's the point in spending the money on a test?"Finally on our anniversary, July 2nd, we were out enjoying lunch together and suddenly I was full and done after about 5 bites. No joke. I felt so uncomfortably full and was so tired. We went to Target to pick up a few things and since we were there I figured, "Well why not? I know that something is going on with my body and if I go to a doctor I know they'll ask if I'm pregnant, so I might as well take a test so that I can tell them no, I'm not pregnant." So we bought a cheap off brand and when we got home I just was so tired I wanted to take a nap. So we did.

When we finally woke up I had to pee so I decided to take the pregnancy test. Spencer had started washing the dishes in the kitchen and as I watched the pregnancy test turn almost immediately positive my heart started pounding and I started shaking. I absolutely couldn't believe it so I went and grabbed the second test that came in the box. I took that one too and again, it was almost immediately positive. After two positives I started to accept that I was probably pregnant. I called for Spencer to come here and he asked if it could wait. "No!" was my response. haha. He came over and I held one of the tests out to him to see. I was seriously shaking uncontrollably. I could kinda tell that he was excited but he could tell that I was so terrified that he just pulled me into a hug and comforted me. Yes, comforted me. I was very distraught. We weren't planning this and it threw a huge wrench in plans! haha. Just tell Heavenly Father your plans and He'll laugh and throw something at ya!

I was still in such denial that I made us go out to buy a third test so I could take another one. Yes, I'm crazy. When that one was positive as well I realized that yes, yes I was pregnant. I was seriously freaking out so I asked Spencer to give me a Priesthood Blessing later that night. The blessing just solidified even more that I was definitely pregnant and it also really helped me to calm down.

I took the next day to soak it in and do some research. I was able to get excited and of course we are both extremely excited now!!! My excitement kept growing (of course I had/have freak-out days. I'm having a baby!), and so when I called to make my first doctor's appointment, imagine to my horror that I had to wait over 4 weeks! But that four weeks did finally go by and today was our first appointment. :) So exactly a month after we found out we were pregnant we had our first appointment. We had absolutely no idea how far along I was since I was so irregular. So we had the ultrasound and to my absolutely pleasure we found out that I am 12 weeks long! We got to see our little baby squirming around and it made it a little more real for us. We both left the appointment so happy and with a couple really cute ultrasound pictures. (One of which I'm sure you've seen either on my or Spencer's wall on facebook because he made an epic movie poster announcing our pregnancy! haha). So there ya go. We are very excited to be parents, surprised but very excited. Spencer is such an amazing husband and I know that he is going to be an amazing daddy. Now just can't wait to find out what the gender is!!!! haha.

Spencer's Awesome!

So everyone knows how completely head-over-heels in love with my amazing husband I am. And this post is bragging about how talented he is!

He has been working at the LDS Motion Picture Studio since June and has been doing a wonderful job. He really enjoys working there and we are SO grateful that he has this job. He is an Assistant Video Editor which means that he transcodes the footage that is sent in and preps it for editing. It's not super exciting but it's been his foot in the door and he actually enjoys going to work. Apparently he has been doing something right, though, and he was actually put as Editor on a small project. He did a really good job on it and as long as everything continues to go well then he will be put as Editor on quite a few more projects which is awesome! He is so talented and does well at whatever he does. haha. Sometimes it's actually kind of frustrating because everything comes so easily to him. He is such a talented, intelligent person. He just naturally is good at everything he tries. He's better than me at just about everything except floral design and customer service! haha. But I absolutely love it and I love him so much. I am so grateful to have such an amazingly talented and intelligent husband.

And he is just wonderful. He has been working so hard and some long hours lately and he just keeps on going. I am so grateful for him and for all that he does. He is also extremely supportive. He is 100% supportive of me and all that I do and is always so encouraging. I've always struggled with self-esteem and I couldn't have found a better man to help me with that. He is always boosting me up and encouraging me when I don't think I can do things or when I am struggling. He is just really the most amazing man I've ever known and I am SO grateful that I get to spend all of eternity with him. I'm a very, very lucky and very blessed girl!

Fun stuff!

Well again, it's been much too long since I updated this thing. I really am going to try to get better at it!

So Spencer is working at the LDS Motion Picture Studio now! He is actually working today, which is great. Sad for me, because I'm home by my lonesome, but it's great because we really need the money. He is enjoying it so far and is doing well with it. He works very hard there and does a great job. Hopefully he will move up the ladder and this job will really lead to other jobs elsewhere. We have pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that we are going to have to move to L.A. or something after we graduate so that Spencer can get the experience he needs in a big place. We won't stay in a large area for a long time, but long enough to get Spencer up the ranks so he can get a job elsewhere. We would LOVE to end up in Washington! That is our goal. We really want to live there. I just fell absolutely in love with it last summer. And Spencer already loved it there, so that's our goal. But that will be a little longer. We aren't graduating until (tentatively) December of 2014. :( Wish it would be sooner than that, but it's just not possible.

We are doing well, though. I am taking summer classes, Spencer is not. I wanted a break but if I want to graduate next year I can't really take a break yet. But I'm only taking one class, so it's not so horrible, it's just not a class that I love. At least I have a couple friends in the class which really helps! Spring term was really fun, though. Very long and hard, but it was very fun. Spencer and I took the second directing class together (we're taking all of the directing classes together, yay!) and we absolutely loved the class. We got to have our first experience directing a scene and it was wonderful. I think we both did a good job. Our second scenes we directed for the class were so much fun! Spencer directed a scene from a Dr. Who episode (we're obsessed with Dr. Who!!!!). He did a great job. I directed a scene from an original play that I wrote during winter semester. I was very pleased with how mine turned out. My actors did such a great job and it made me really excited to direct the full play this fall.

So this fall Spencer and I are doing the directing practicum class together. We will each be directing a 35 minute play of our choice (they are called Mask Clubs). Spencer is doing an original Dr. Who episode. I started writing something for him and came up with the general idea of the one-act, we just need to sit down and get out a full first draft so we can go from there. I am directing my original one-act that I wrote during Winter Semester. It is about a newlywed couple (like, within 24 hours newlywed) that comes home to their apartment on their wedding night and it's just a fun romantic comedy. I will be re-writing and editing it for the rest of the summer so it is ready for this fall. I might put the script on here for people to give me feedback on. (If anyone reads this, of course!) haha.

During spring term Spencer and I worked on the BYU production of A Wrinkle in Time. It was very long and very hard work, but it was so rewarding. We had a great time doing it. I was an Assistant Stage Manager for it and just loved it. Again, it was hard and frustrating at times, but really what show isn't? haha. I have been astounded at my quick love for stage management. I really enjoy it. I just finished Assistant Stage Managing at The Echo Theatre in Provo. They did Steel Magnolias-such a wonderful play! That again was rough and frustrating at times, but very rewarding. I absolutely loved the cast and director and Stage Manager. They were all wonderful and it was a fun show. But I am very glad that it is over as well. I had a VERY busy few months with everything that I took on.

Fall semester I am also stage managing one of the other mask clubs that is going up. I started doing work for it this spring and will be hitting it hard this fall. So this fall is going to be very busy! But it will be super fun. I am just so grateful that Spencer and I will be in a few classes together. It's really fun being in the same major because we do a lot of the same things. And if you know Spencer and me very well, you know that we do EVERYTHING together. We are super close--he's my best friend and husband! So we enjoy doing all of these projects and classes together. I couldn't be happier :)

We had our third anniversary on July 2nd. I can't believe we have been married for three years! What a wonderful three years it has been! I am excite for many more :) We are super happy and loving life. So there ya go!

Little Updates

I have been horrible at writing on my blog lately, I really need to get better at that! Anywho. So I am back in school now and actually really enjoying it. Most of my classes are theatre classes so it is great. I get to be creative and have lots of fun, so I typically don't really dread going to class which is awesome!

Spencer is working hard in school and doing well too. We are just waiting to see if/when he will start work at the LDS Motion Picture Studio. He really wants the job and would be extremely good at it. He would be hired as a student video editor which he is SUPER talented with. Hopefully he gets hired soon. It would be an amazing opportunity for him. It really would be his foot in the door into the film industry. So hope and pray that he gets to start that soon!

If you know me well you know that I tend to have more health problems than the average person. Well trying not to go into too much detail, I have always had menstrual problems. I have always been super irregular and it is very annoying and frustrating... and unhealthy. But I am finally on health insurance again so we decided I really needed to get in and figure out what is wrong with my body. I went in last Monday and they drew five vials of blood. Yippee! I absolutely HATE needles so you can imagine how much I just loved that. Anyway. I went back in yesterday to find out the results. Everything looked good except for my prolactin levels. Apparently I have higher than normal prolactin levels which can cause menstrual problems. The doctor prescribed some medicine that is supposed to lower prolactin levels, so I am taking that now. In a month if it regulates my period then she will call in and renew my subscription and I will go back in for testing again in about 6 months or so. If it has not regulated my period then she will up my dose and see how it goes from there. I am still researching and figuring out exactly what having a high prolactin level means, but it doesn't seem like it's that big of deal, at least at the moment. Prolactin is created by the pituitary gland and is supposed to be high for new nursing mothers. It is the hormone that causes a woman to produce milk after she has a baby. So when you are not a nursing mother it is a problem if you have high prolactin levels. Anyway, the medicine they put me on is bromocriptine. There are some adverse side effects that are supposed to go away after awhile (if you suffer from any of them). I have only taken one pill, so I don't think I will really know if I will have any of the side effects or not. But on of them is headaches and I have had a killer headache today. However, I have headaches a LOT, so I don't know if it's a side effect or just the usual for me.

We are loving life and still loving married life :) Spencer is so good to me and we have so much fun together. I marvel every day that he stuck by me and won me over. I couldn't have imagined being married to a better guy. He can always make me laugh and is so loving. I am so grateful I have such a wonderful marriage with such a wonderful man. I love him so much and count my blessings for him every day!

We are very excited to be going to Reno this weekend. We both need a break from Utah and decided Reno would be great for us. So we are going with our friends Brian and Julia and we are going to stay with our friends Steve and Preston in Reno. But Spencer and I wanted a night away together, so we got a hotel at the Circus Circus hotel in Reno for a night and I am very excited. I am so excited to get away for a weekend, especially this weekend! Valentine's Day isn't as crazy this year because I am working somewhere new and they are awesome with the big holidays. Yay! But it is still busier than usual so I am looking forward to a break. And I get to spend four days straight with my favorite person in the world, who wouldn't be excited that?!

Well there ya go! A couple updates (if you care) from the young Johnson couple. We are happy and hope you are too!

Wonderful Vacation

Well we have been having a wonderful vacation! We have been making the most of it and we have desperately needed this. We have been having a blast! I will try to do a little rundown. Let's see...
We left June 22 and got here that night. I was starting to finally feel better the day we left. I still couldn't talk, but I was starting to get my voice back on the 23rd, so that was excellent. When you walked out the front door, it smelled like pine. I was in total heaven--I still am! 
On the 24th Maryl drove Spencer and me to Portland and we spent most of the week with his aunt and uncle that live there. My Advanced Floral Design class was from the 25th-29th. I LOVED the class. There were only three of us in the class, so we really got to know each other and the instructors. And we got lots of attention, so it was great. I learned so much in my class. I feel so much more optimistic about my designing abilities. The greatest thing I learned is that there are no limits to what you can do. The only limits are your own creativity. If you can think it up then you can do it! Oh I absolutely LOVED it!
Spencer came and spent Wednesday in downtown Portland with me. He walked around Portland while I was in class and came and spent my breaks with me. We had such a fun day and it really made us want to have more time in Portland together. So Wednesday we decided that we wanted to get a hotel for Thursday night. I decided to take an extra class Wednesday night since we were in the area. So I took a Hydrangea Class at the school I was going to. It was really fun. It was just a two hour class all about hydrangea and how to make them last a little better and how to use them. It was so good for me to take that class. When we got back to Spencer's aunt and uncle's house that night we got online and started looking for a hotel for Thursday night. We found a good one that wasn't too expensive and we ended up loving it!
So Thursday Spencer went to my class with me and he walked around again while I was in class. That afternoon he checked into our hotel and then met me to help me walk there after my class was over for the day. We got to the hotel and dropped off our stuff and just relaxed for a little while. THEN we went on a huge walk around Portland because Spencer wanted to show me Washington Park. It was about a 2.5 mile walk from our hotel up to the park, and it was SO worth it. I was exclaiming every few seconds how beautiful it was. I was in absolute heaven. We kept walking up through the park and came to the entrance of the Rose Garden. Oh. My. Goodness! It was so beautiful! So many colors of roses. So vibrant and just breathtaking. We ended up spending hours up in the park/garden. Afterward we ate at a great Pizza place and then made the walk back to our hotel. It was such a fun evening. Spencer and I had such a wonderful night together. It was a great way to celebrate our anniversary (a few days early, but that's okay!).
On our anniversary we spent most of the day at his grandparent's house. He made pizza for dinner so we were able to get away for a little bit to spend some time together so we could run to town and get a few ingredients. The next AMAZING day was the 4th of July. We woke up early and drove to Portland to meet my brother and sister-in-law, Josh and Gail, and their kids. We haven't seen them since we got married, so it had been two years and two days exactly! I was SO excited! We met them at the Rose Garden in Portland and I was ecstatic. We went to the Japanese Garden which was awesome. Since Spencer spent almost eight years in Japan we REALLY wanted to see the Japanese Garden. It was really neat. We took so many pictures. It was gorgeous. After that we walked around the Rose Garden and Washington Park and walked down to eat lunch together. We had such a wonderful time with my family. It was so good to spend time with them. I wanted to cry when we had to say goodbye. I missed them as soon as we left. We had such a fun day with them, I was just so sad to leave them! We drove back to Silverton from Portland and enjoyed the time alone for the drive.
We have just had so much fun up here. We do NOT want to come back to Utah. We are just absolutely loving it here. The next fun day was Thursday when we went to Silver Falls. But I am tired and this is already a super long post, so that will have to wait. So still to come, Thursday, Silver Falls, Saturday, Washington (visiting where Spencer served part of his mission), and Monday (July 9th), New Port, Tillamook, and Astoria. Oh so much fun!!!

What a month!

Well it has been awhile since I last posted. And a LOT has happened. May was just not a very fun month, gonna be honest. Work was crazy because we had Mother's Day and then Memorial Day back to back. We were crazy busy. And then right before my birthday my Grandma had a mini stroke, and then on my birthday she had another mini stroke. Thankfully she is doing better now, but she won't be able to live on her own anymore, really. So they are trying to get her on medicaid or medicare (I always get them mixed up), so that she can get into assisted living. I was able to see her briefly last weekend and it was really good to see her. My Grandma is great. She didn't miss any of my plays, choir concerts, or pageants while I was in high school. She was always so supportive, so I'm grateful I was able to see her so she knows I support her too.

Anyway. My Birthday was wonderful! Spencer went to very great lengths to make it an amazing day for me.  I was very tired because I'd been working so much, so Spencer woke up and got our bountiful basket by himself Saturday morning so that I could sleep in. It was very sweet. We just hung out and had a wonderful day together. We went to Tucanos for lunch. I LOVE Tucanos! They have the most amazing passion fruit, mango, pudding cake. It is to die for. I definitely got it for my birthday! haha. When we got back home I was completely surprised. Spencer was throwing me a surprise party! I opened the door and about had a heart attack when I saw someone sitting on the couch. I realized it was our friends, Brian and Julia, and I calmed down. It was a very nice little surprise and we had a really good time. Spencer made a wonderful dinner, Thai Fried Rice--my favorite!! And he made coconut rice and we had it with mangos. He also made homemade ice-cream. Mint chocolate chip and also coconut. SUPER yummy!!

The other thing that hit really hard the past few weeks is my mom was diagnosed with cancer. So far all the tests have been coming back very well and things are looking good, for which we all are SO grateful! She is still waiting to get the results from a few more tests and we will know more after that. So still just a waiting game. The waiting is the hardest part, really. But my mom is a wonderful, very strong woman. She has a lot of people in her life that love her very much and we are all supporting her. Our family has already been pulled closer because of this and we will do anything we can to help our dear Mother. :) There has been lots of support outside of our family as well, which we are all so grateful for. Many prayers have been and will continue to be offered up for mom and the whole family. That's all anyone can really ask for right now.

It's really been quite the little while for my family. Daddy cut the tip of his middle finger (right hand) off. Thankfully it was his right hand since he is left handed! The same day he did that was the same day I passed out in the bathroom. I will back up a few days, though. Last weekend we went to my parent's house for a visit. All of my siblings except for Josh :( were there. We had so much fun! It was such a wonderful weekend. There was a lot less fighting and we all just had a really good time together. I love spending time with my family--especially my adorable little nieces and nephews! So that weekend was wonderful! But Sunday night when Spencer and I were driving home we were really tired, so we pulled over to take a nap. When I woke up I felt really sick but just got started driving anyway. I ended up having to pull over to the side of the road and I vomited. Throwing up is an awful experience, but this was probably one of the worst experiences I had ever had. There was so much stomach acid that it just burned my throat. I stayed up from work on Monday because I still felt so sick. My chest was even hurting. Tuesday I was feeling a bit better and got to work. And then Wednesday morning things went way downhill.

I woke up to start getting ready for work and I had a really bad pain in my right side. I went to the bathroom because I always have to pee when I wake up. The pain in my side was so awful I started to get really light headed. I put my head in my hands and the next thing I remember was hearing a loud crack and waking up on the ground. I was so stunned I just stayed there for a minute. I finally flipped over and leaned against the wall and called for Spencer. If you know Spencer very well you know that it can be quite a feat trying to get him to wake up in the morning. But thankfully he got up after I called him a few times. He came in and asked if I was ok. I touched my head (I knew I had a bump) and asked him to bring me some ice. He looked at my head and was like, oh my gosh! He got me a frozen bag of corn and helped me up and got me to the couch. We are both amazed that my head didn't split open. I had an indentation of the tile in my forehead and a huge goose egg. Anyway, needless to say I didn't go to work that day. I felt awful. My head hurt SO bad and I was so tired. I was so out of it. We were going to go to an urgent care just to make sure nothing was wrong, but they had different hours so we ended up going to the ER later that night. After a few hours there and lots of tests, they found out that nothing was wrong. So a very large bill later, all I had was a hospital bracelet and some pain medication in my system that would last for eight hours. That night I realized something I hadn't noticed earlier. My head was hurting so bad that I didn't even notice that my right side was sore. I must have hit very hard because my face on the right side all the way down my neck and shoulder was super sensitive and very sore. My shoulder and neck are still a little sore, but much better. My goose egg has definitely gone down in size, and I am naughty and picked the scab off of my forehead, but it actually looks a lot better than it did!
Thursday my head was still really hurting, and my throat was starting to hurt really bad. Friday it got really bad. I don't know if I have strep, but my throat was hurting so bad I could barely talk. Swallowing at all is very painful. My glands are very swollen on the left side (all of this stuff is on my left side), to the point where touching them even very gently hurts really bad. My jaw is also in pain and I don't know if it's cause my glands are so swollen that it is irritating my jaw... I dunno. All I know is I have been miserable since Wednesday (more so since Friday), and I just want to get better! But we can't afford for me to go to a doctor. So I have been struggling the past week. I am trying to stay optimistic, but it's really hard when you feel like death. I hate not being able to talk. Spencer is getting pretty good at figuring out my attempts at sign language. And speaking of Spencer. He has been absolutely amazing! He has been so helpful and wonderful this past week. He is so caring and loving. I am so lucky and so grateful to have him.

Anyway. On a happier note (I hope!). We are leaving for Oregon on Friday! I am getting really excited. We desperately need a break like this. I just hope and pray that I start feeling a lot better soon. I am so excited for my floral design class in Portland. We are really just so happy to be getting away from Utah for awhile. It is going to be a burden financially, but we need it so desperately that I can't bring myself to stress about that too much. It is going to be wonderful to spend a good amount of time with Spencer's family. We are just so happy!!! Well this has been long enough, I think. And plenty of complaining from me. I feel like crap, but I am desperately hoping and praying that I start feeling better soon. And we are getting out of Utah for almost four weeks. I get to spend most of that time with my amazing husband and his family. What could be better!?

Floral Design School

Okay, so I have really been wanting to go to Floral Design School. There is one in Portland, the Floral Design Institute. Well, I am actually doing it!! I was at the bank and asked about alternative loans that they offer, and when I told the lady what it was for, she looked some stuff up and found a credit card that I could get that has zero percent interest for the first 12 months, so even better than an alternative loan! An alternative loan would immediately start accruing interest. And we plan to pay it all off within a year anyway, so when she told me that I started getting super excited. I came home and talked to Spencer about it and he said to go for it, so I am! I will get started on the Basic Floral Design class in the next few weeks, hopefully. I am doing the distance learning program for the basic design class because it is cheaper and I don't mind doing that from home. But the Advanced Design class I want to be in the classroom for so I can actually physically have a teacher there to help me. So we are going to Oregon this summer!!!! Spencer's wonderful family is helping to make it possible. His mom is driving to Oregon because her parents live there. They are going to spend a few weeks up there so they can visit and spend time with the grandparents. We are going to go with them! So we will be leaving June 22 and will come back on the 16 of July. I am taking the Advanced Design class from June 25-29. So not only do I get to go to Floral Design School, but we also get to get away from Utah for three weeks, AND we get to spend time with family. Yay!!!! I am SO excited!!!!! I seriously want to make a chain to countdown the time. I just can't believe I actually get to do this. I am stoked. Anyway, so there's my wonderful news!
Also, I will be making quite a few arrangements for my basic design class, and if anyone in the Utah County area is interested in maybe buying one, we could definitely work out something so you can get it super cheap and so I can get a little extra money to help pay for it. ooooh I just can't wait!

Updates

It's been quite awhile since I've given a real update. Valentine's Day was absolutely crazy! I thought a flower shop was nuts, it was way worse at a wholesaler. I am very glad that is over, but then Easter hit and I didn't realize it would get so busy. That's over now too, thankfully, but alas, Mother's Day and Memorial Day are coming up. Both wonderful holidays, I actually support those ones--not like Valentine's Day, but they are still going to be crazy and I will be VERY happy when June comes around!
Anyway, Spencer has been having a rough go lately. BYU keeps throwing things at him making things more difficult for him. We don't really know what he is going to do because he keeps being faced with difficulties at every single turn. Hopefully by the end of the year we will know what he is going to do. We are hoping that he will get a job doing video editing sometime soon. He has been doing fantastic in his video editing class this semester and his professor has noticed--yay! So proud of him. He is so talented.
As for me, I am hanging in there. Getting sick of this part of our lives. I am ready to move on (we both are) and start a different chapter of our lives. But we can't exactly do that until we know what is going to go on with Spencer. But work is going alright. I am very grateful to work somewhere that understands that when you're sick you just can't work sometimes. I have been sick for a week with some kind of upper respiratory thing. It wasn't really a usual cold, but I had a super sore throat and was SO tired. Well just as I was starting to get over that my Vestibular Neuritis (dizziness) started acting up. So I have been dizzy since Friday. It is starting to get better, but it is definitely still affecting me. If I move to quickly my head starts to spin and I have to grab hold of something to steady myself. I hate to be a downer, because I am VERY grateful that I am not affected by this all of the time, but I really hate it. Being dizzy is awful. It makes it so I don't really want to do anything, because doing much makes me dizzy which sometimes leads to me being nauseous. It's just a horrible feeling to have to concentrate so hard on standing and walking straight. As I said, it started getting better today, so it's just if I move quickly that it really hits me, but for the people that know me know that I move quickly. I was not raised to do things slowly so Spencer has been getting after me all day to slow down and not move so fast. I don't do well with that so I have had to stop and take it easy a LOT. Anyway, I don't mean to complain, and again I am super grateful this doesn't affect me all the time. It just sucks and is very frustrating when it does affect me.
On a different note. I love my husband. He is so good to me. I absolutely love that he is a good dancer. Dancing in the kitchen is one of my favorite things ever! Not that we have been able to dance much the past while because my head instantly starts to spin (only partially from the vestibular neuritis ;) ). Anyway, cute story. Awhile ago we were at the American Fork D.I. and we went back out to the car and Spencer wanted to show me a new dance step in the triple step swing, so we put our stuff in the car and then he pulled me into dance position and started teaching me the new step. We just got sucked into our own little world until this older couple came over and the guy said "I get the next dance." We started laughing and realized that we were a young couple dancing in a parking lot. And I loved it! The gentleman said that he liked our moves and we had a good laugh until the other couple got in their car and we decided to get going. Oh the sweet little joys in life! I am so grateful that I have so many of them in my life-and Spencer brings a lot of little joys into my life. I'm so grateful I'm married to my best friend.
Oh! And I have a new niece! Abagail Bullock, she's a little cutie and I can't wait to meet her! She was born the day I got sick so we haven't been able to go visit. But we will this weekend. Yay!
I am so excited :)
And now it is time to close. Dizziness is starting to get the better of me and I need to try to get some sleep. For those who read all of this, prayers for things to look up for Spencer would be very much appreciated!! Thank you!

Blickenstaff's!

I have been meaning to post about Blickenstaffs on here. It is an awesome toy store here in Provo. It is seriously the coolest place ever-fun for everyone! Seriously! They have toys out so you can play with them, and they have these awesome scooter things that you sit in and you move your feet back and forth to make yourself move. It's just way fun. We love going there and hanging out. We are kids at heart and what better place to go than a toy store? We like dragging our friends there when we can. We love Blickenstaffs and I think you, yes you, should check it out! If you are in the area, of course. But really, it's awesome, I want to take my nieces and nephews there SUPER bad! But don't take my word for it, go check out their website and facebook.
http://blickenstaffs.com
/https://www.facebook.com/Blickenstaffs

Ooh ooh! And another thing that I LOVE about them, is that they have imported candy! Yep, they have the real Cadbury from Europe, not the yucky fake American Cadbury stuff. And they have yummy sodas that you can buy too.
Now if you want to see us making a complete fool of ourselves, scroll down for pictures!



Spencer loves to watch me do the jack in the box (except that it's a little sock monkey one-SOOO cute!)

These are those cool scooter things that you sit on. Way Fun!

Yep, we have WAY too much fun at Blickenstaff's sometimes!!!

Just the beginning

So Valentine's has officially started. Worked eleven hours yesterday, and just shy of eleven today. Whew! That's actually not too bad. I will be shouting praises if we can keep it to eleven hour days every day! I thought working at a flower shop was busy, this is even more so. At a flower shop you are just providing for your store, granted you are also dealing with customers. But at a wholesaler, you are providing arrangements/bouquets for lots of different stores. It's crazy, and it hasn't fully started yet. Tomorrow is my first day really supervising a lot of employees. It will be good though :) I will keep my smile on and stay positive and everything should work out fine. Right? haha. That's what I keep telling myself. My feet and ankles may not be so good, but things should be alright.

I re-activated my facebook. It's so hard not to have one. I was actually really enjoying it because of how much time it freed up, but it really is difficult. That's how I keep in contact with people. Granted it shouldn't really matter, because most people don't care to keep in contact with me so why should I go through the effort. But also that's where everyone posts pictures of what is going on, things that I am missing out on because I have to work or have something else I have to be doing. And Spencer and I went to this AMAZING restaurant tonight. We wanted to get the word out on how great it was, and really the only way to get it to a large amount of people is by putting it on facebook. And I will confess my weakness. I have a need for love. I need to feel loved and feel like people care. As ridiculous as this is, seeing that someone commented on my status or something makes me feel good. Makes me think that someone is actually thinking about/caring about this weird red-head. Don't get me wrong, I get plenty of love from my husband. He is amazing that way. But sometimes I just don't feel like I get much from other people [my family does pretty good though ;) ]. Anyway, enough of that. I am SO tired and want to get some sleep before I have another 11-13 hour day at work again.

Health and Husbands and Valentine's (evil) Day

Two things. 1. I hate health problems. 2. My husband is amazing. Now to go a little more in depth. If you know me well you know I get sick a lot. Well this week was no exception. Yesterday I was so sick! I had been up multiple times the night before, waking up with a terrible stomach ache. I had to prop myself up with pillows to try to sleep because laying down made it worse. So when I woke up I still felt awful, but I had gotten a terrible night's sleep so it was even worse. I trudged to work, however, and just had no energy at all. Thankfully I was able to call in someone to come help me on bouquets, and then one of my other co-workers was able to help so that I could go home, so I only worked about four hours. That was a blessing.
As for my husband being amazing. Yes I know I rave about him all the time, but it's because he deserves it. He is so great to me. He knew I was sick and he knows that I have very long hours for work coming up with Valentine's day. He didn't want me to do anything but rest yesterday, so I did. I sat on the couch for the rest of the day (other than to throw ingredients in the bread maker for dinner). It felt so amazing to just relax. I really needed it and it helped to give me the energy I needed for my nine hour work day today. That is going to be nothing compared to what I will be doing in the next little while though!
I will say it over and over again, I really hate Valentine's Day. There shouldn't have to be a day set aside to show love for your significant other. You should do that every single day. Using it as an excuse to give them a little extra pampering I am okay with. But people who make a huge deal about it, making it one of the only times they ever really do something nice... yuck! And I am grateful for the paycheck it brings me. Being a florist, this is THE busiest time of the year. I am working at a different place this year, and it is even busier than what I did before (if that's even imaginable). I just want it to be over with. I will be--hopefully--working twelve hour days for the next week and a half. And that is straight through. I am working the next two Saturdays and Sundays. Not fun. Valentine's Day is so commercialized it is ridiculous. All I want to do that day is relax at home with my wonderful husband and enjoy our time together. That's all I ever really want to do if I'm being honest. Who doesn't love snuggling up on the couch with the love of their life and watching movies or playing games? Doesn't get much better than that! Well, it will once we have a better couch someday. Ours is SO uncomfortable! haha. Anyway. We are hanging in there and trying to be positive. Wish me luck for the next two weeks!

Simplifying...

If you are reading this you probably saw that I am deleting my facebook account for awhile. So here's why.
Facebook is such a waste of time. I spend too much time on there and I decided that I could do so much other stuff with my time. How many times a day do you check facebook? I am not looking down on you if you check it often, I totally did, and that's why I am giving it a rest for awhile. Well, that's not the only reason. Have you seen the nasty comments people make sometimes? Nasty has numerous meanings. It is the downer comments people post, or the mean things people say, or the downright degradable, awful things people say. That stuff just pulls you down. Also, some things just make me very frustrated. I was trying so hard to be friends and be nice to someone, trying to contact them, hoping they would not throw away our friendship simply because we no longer worked together. Apparently they didn't care. It just brought to my attention how surface level a lot of friendships are. My previous blog was about how I am a very loving person. I put a lot of myself into relationships, and sadly I am finding out more and more that others don't do the same. I have been screwed over and left hanging out to dry over and over again by trying to be nice. Having this happen constantly and having it in my face all the time on facebook is just an extra needle in the heart. And other dramas are always unfolding on facebook. I have decided that I would honestly rather stay oblivious and in the dark on some things and find things out after the fact. Life is dramatic enough already, I don't want to add petty drama on top of that. Anyway!
So here's the test as to who actually cares/is a friend. If you want to keep in contact then just look at this blog. I've also got a writing blog. http://smalltowngirlwritings.blogspot.com/ So if you like writing go ahead and go there. If you would rather email then my email is kayleenjjohnson@yahoo.com This is a friends/family only email, so don't send me junk or stupid forwards please! I enjoy reading blogs, so if you have one and want to stay in contact then I would love to follow you. Happy Saturday!! Have a great weekend!

Pondering on love...

Well just as an update, not much has changed. We are doing well. Spencer is really enjoying his classes so far this semester. He is happy which makes me happy, and we continue to have lots of fun together! So I have been thinking about love lately and the influence/impact it can have on us. Many people know that I am very much a romantic. And (if I dare say something good about myself), I am a very loving person. I feel like that is one of my talents. I have a great capacity to love and when I love someone, I really love them. I don't hold back. And once I love someone, I will usually love them forever or for a very, very long time. I've never thought about it before, but that could be why it cuts so deeply when someone hurts me. Hm... Anyway. So I love to love! Now that you know that about me, I will continue on.
If you know me very well you know that I lost one of my best friends a few years back. For those who do know, if you have heard me talk about him a lot, I am sorry and just bear with me. (It will be four years next month since his passing, maybe that's why I've been thinking about him more lately?) Curtis was an amazing friend. He was truly just a good person through and through. He was one of the most loving, selfless people I had ever known. He is one of the people that influenced me the most by his love for me. We had such a wonderful friendship and he was there for me through a LOT. He helped me so much in so many ways. He was always very near and dear to me and he still is. I will be very excited to see him in the next life.
Anyway, he taught me a lot. And one of those things is love. He was so full of love for everyone around him. He was always looking out for others and never himself. He taught me to love more. Loving other really can fill a void if you are feeling like something is missing. It has been my experience that when you are full of love you cannot help but be happy. Personal experience. Spencer and I are struggling financially and I am struggling with things and I have been very stressed. But Spencer and I are very close (as every husband and wife should be) and I get so wrapped up in our love for one another that nothing else matters. I can't help but be happy and love life because of the love I have with Spencer and also because of the abundance of love we have in our families.
I have also learned to love and not hold back because you never know when someone is going to go away. Both my grandfathers passed away when I was sixteen-- just five months apart from each other. And then when I was 18 I lost my best friend. You really never know how much longer you have to tell someone you love them. (My two biggest regrets have to deal with this, but that will be for another day!) This life is so unpredictable. It's not worth it to not love with all you have.
Anyway. I know this has turned into a short novel. But I guess the moral of this entry is just to love. Love with all of your heart and don't hold back--this life is too short. The two greatest commandments are to love the Lord and love your neighbor. You will never regret loving someone too much, but you may regret loving someone too little. Take every chance you have to pull close to people and love them, especially your families. I'll close with one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."

What are some experiences/lessons you have learned from love? (I really would like some comments on this. It's never a bad thing to reflect on love and how it can impact us.)

P.S. and by the way. If you haven't checked out my new writing blog you should. Give me some feedback if you don't mind! http://smalltowngirlwritings.blogspot.com/

Updates

It's been awhile. Time just runs away from me and I don't realize it until it's two months later! We are doing well. Just trudging along and doing the best we can. If you haven't heard already, Spencer didn't get accepted to the Media Arts Program. It was his second chance, so he is back to square one, trying to decide what to major in now. It was a very big disappointment and let-down for us. We were both really optimistic about him getting in this time, but the Lord has something else planned apparently. Spencer did find out that there are a few classes he can take even without being in the major, so he is taking a production class, editing class, and also story-boarding class this semester. He is already loving them! He really enjoys the story-boarding because it is pretty much drawing all semester. He has to draw every day of the semester. Last night he did a sketch of the Eiffel Tower and it was AMAZING! I married a very talented man. Makes me feel very UNtalented sometimes. But that is a nice segue into my next thing.

So we are super poor right now. For Christmas we decided not to buy each other gifts. We had just a little bit of money to buy something for each other from "Santa." But we were just trying to do really thoughtful gifts this year. Spencer did wonderfully! I am getting voice lessons!!!! I have always wanted voice lessons but never had the money for them. Well that's what 'Santa' gave me. Spencer has a friend from high school who is at BYU studying Music Education. She recently started teaching voice lessons and got me set up. The present was for two lessons, but if they go well and I want to continue them I can and after tonight it looks as if that will be the case. Tonight was my first lesson and I LOVED it! I love singing and miss it so much. I was super nervous for it because I haven't done much singing since I graduated from high school almost five years ago. But I really like my teacher and I seemed to click with her. I was amazed at how much it helped. I have never been very confident in myself, especially my voice. I love to sing, but I have always been very timid and kinda shy about it. She really started teaching me on how to put the sound out and it is already giving me a little more confidence. I am just so happy and excited to be taking lessons!

Spencer has made so many of my dreams come true. I never thought I would get to London, let alone Ireland, but I did both with Spencer. I never thought voice lessons would happen, but Spencer thinks I have a good voice and knows how much I love to sing, so he is making that come true too. I married quite a catch and I am very grateful for him and for all he does for me.

Anyway. This is definitely a long overdue update. Most people that actually read this blog will probably already know this, but I got a new job! I started on December 1st at Mountain Bloom Wholesale in Provo. It is a floral wholesaler. I mass produce wrapped bouquets every day. They treat me SO much better than Flower Patch did. I really like my co-workers. I am head of bouquets and I am actually excited for Valentine's. I mean, I'm completely dreading it because I hate Valentine's Day so much and because I am working for two weeks straight without a day off, but I am actually kinda excited! Something I have really learned recently is how much I enjoy management. I wish I would have figured it out when I first started college, but that's alright. Anyway, I am running the bouquets for Valentine's, which means I will be managing roughly 15 temporary employees. It is going to be hard and very stressful, but I am excited!

So all in all we are doing well. We are hanging in there and doing our best. We are still loving the married life. We made it a goal to try to always keep in in the newlywed stage (we still kind of area newlyweds, only been married for a little over 18 months!), but we are doing pretty well at that. He is my best friend and we do everything together. I love living with my best friend! Anyway... the last thing I have to say is that I started a new blog. I want to get back into writing so I started a writing blog where I am going to do exercises from a book that I bought a while back. And also just writing blips of stories or things that come to mind. It's http://smalltowngirlwritings.blogspot.com/ If you would like to check it out. Well, hopefully that caught everyone up on things. We are doing well, living life to the fullest and hope the best to you!

Changes

So I need to catch up on my month of thanks. And for those who are curious about what happened at my job, it will be scattered throughout and then at the end, so just read the whole thing ;) Well, here goes!

Nov. 19-Temples
We went to the temple with some of our friends and it was so wonderful. It truly is amazing to have somewhere to go to completely escape this life and the worries this life brings. We had a wonderful experience in the temple and it brought so much peace to me. I am so grateful to live so close to a temple.

Nov. 18- A supportive family and husband that will defend me when wrongs me.
Well I was pretty nervous to tell my family that I had quit my job. I didn't want them to freak out at me and tell me that I shouldn't have done that... so I was very nervous to say the least! But I told my parents and my in-laws and they were all so supportive. My parents were completely on my side and understood why I quit and I was so grateful! Thank you to my wonderful parents-both sets!

Nov. 17-Courage and faith to help me stand up for myself and do what's right.
This was the day I quit my job. It felt SO good! Things had just been getting really, really awful at the store and I was being treated like crap. I got in trouble for something that was in no way my fault, and I was done. After the phone call where someone got upset with me I went upstairs and just started crying. After that, I decided to quit-it was the last straw. So I called up an appropriate person and quit. Wow! A HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt soooo good!

Nov. 16-Pageants and the interview skills they taught me.
I had applied at a different job the previous week. They called me on the 15th and asked if I could come in for an interview on the 16th, so I did. I was really nervous. My previous job had really beaten me down so I didn't have a ton of confidence. And I had been at Flower Patch for almost 4 years, so I hadn't had to interview for a long time. But once I got in for my interview my pageant interview skills kinda kicked in and I did really well and actually kinda enjoyed myself.

Nov. 15- Not having to clean the kitchen. Sometimes I just hate doing dishes!
I was exhausted after work and desperately needed a nap. So I actually got one. I fell asleep on the couch and when I woke up, Spencer had cleaned the kitchen. :) What a wonderful treat!

Nov. 14-Priesthood Blessings and a husband worthy to give them to me.
I was really, really struggling with my job and just life. We have really been struggling money-wise and that was weighing down on me. Bust mostly it was my job. I absolutely hated going to work everyday. So I asked Spencer to give me a blessing and he was able to do it just a few minutes later. What a blessing and comfort to me!
For those who don't know what a Priesthood Blessing is, it is a "prayer for healing, comfort or counsel given by a Melchizedek Priesthood holder, who lays his hands on the head of the person receiving the blessing." They are basically acting as a mouthpiece for our Heavenly Father, so that we can receive His counsel and comfort. They are truly amazing!

Nov. 13-A husband that will push me to be a little more selfish and do something for myself once in awhile.
As I said previously, I was really struggling. I felt like Spencer wasn't helping around the house as much and I felt like I was doing everything. Working full time but also having to clean the apartment. He gently reminded me that he often tried to get me to do things for myself, but I would shrug it off and say, 'no this needs to be done,' so I never got anything for myself. So Spencer told me to be selfish for the week. It was not easy, but I definitely did a few very selfish things. One of which was quitting my job! haha. But that wasn't just selfish, it was the right thing to do. But I just was so grateful for a husband that would encourage me to do what I wanted to do and not care as much about what other people wanted. It felt very good!


So I quit my job. I don't even know where to begin explaining certain things... Things have been steadily decreasing at work since my old manager left. I guess I will start there. She gave corporate a month's notice, so they had time to figure out what they were going to do when she left... I don't think they gave it much thought. And they never told us what was happening, so it just fell on me to step in and open every morning and do all of the managerial duties. I was okay with that because I thought they would see how I handled things and they would consider me for manager. (yeah, that totally didn't happen! And they never even thanked me for stepping in and taking care of what needed to be done.)
So I was "in charge" without being paid or anything. And then they brought in a girl that used to work there. She had been fired because of all the problems she caused.... but corporate brought her back. That was when all of the problems started. Long story short, I started having to deal with a lot more problems-things being priced wrong, orders that weren't taken properly, orders with wrong prices/product so there were more angry customers. Her arrangements weren't the greatest either, so I was constantly having to re-do her arrangements. She just caused WAY more work for me. And if something slipped past me or I decided to just not fix one of her mistakes, I got in trouble. Then soon, everyone was lying to each other and backstabbing each other. I had NO idea who I could trust at all. There were so many problems going on at the store and I could not fix anything. There was no control over anything at the shop.

I sent emails to corporate asking them to step in and tell us what they wanted, and I never got a response. I even sent an email saying that I would like to be considered for the manager position and I never got any response-not even a response just saying that they had received the email.
Anyway, I sent an email to corporate explaining what was going on. And so did a few other girls. The only response then I got was "we will be taking care of this at the meeting on wednesday." And when that meeting came around, nothing that I had mentioned in my email was addressed. And none of the other girls' emails were addressed. They just said play nice. And absolutely nothing changed. Other than everyone started hating corporate even more. One particular corporate member came down for the meeting, we'll call him Pete. He was a complete jerk. He talked to us like we were worthless. And he flat out said, I want you all to stay because you've been here awhile and know what's going on, but you are all replaceable. So if you don't step up for the new changes, you will be fired. Pete also told us that we would not be getting a raise if we had gotten one in the past twelve months. This was complete crap because I had stepped up and was in charge of all of the managerial duties at the store and never received any compensation for it, and this just told me that even though they kept giving me more duties, I would not get a raise because I got one in May. All that they accomplished with their meeting was making all of the girls hate them even more. So much that one girl quit the following week, another girl quit and yesterday was her last day. Another girl is quitting in the next couple weeks, and they lost me abruptly on Thursday.
Anyway, the meeting wasn't why I quit. It definitely made me VERY upset and made me loathe Pete, but it's not what made me quit. What made me quit was how they treated me. If there were mistakes in the store, I got in trouble for them. Regardless of who caused the mistake, somehow I was the one that got in trouble for it. This girl that they brought back that caused a lot of problems. We will call her Ann to make it easier. Ann was bringing in someone to help her at night sometimes. This meant she was bringing in someone who didn't work there, and the girl was making arrangements for the company. This is a huge no no, and to make it even worse, the girl was on the do-not-hire list because of the crap she pulled when she used to work for the Flower Patch. The same girl that Ann brought in stole from the store. Ann said she would pay for it and never did. I told corporate about it and guess what? No response and nothing happened to her. Ann actually stole from the store as well. (And come to find out she shoplifted from another store as well.) So this is the girl that I am dealing with... corporate sided with her. I kept getting in trouble for mistakes Ann was making.
Well the past week when I came in to work in the morning, nothing was done. The store was a complete mess, flowers were out of water, buckets with flowers/greenery were left out over night--nothing had been done. It was getting really frustrating and making us get behind in the mornings. So Thursday I sent an email to a corporate-ish lady, (we'll call her Jan) that we have been dealing with. I explained the situation. I didn't even name names, except for one, making sure they knew that this one particular girl was always very good and when she closed things were done correctly. I didn't get upset or anything. I just explained what was going on. I even apologized, telling her I was sorry to bug her about this because she isn't the manager down at the Provo store. (They had hired a new manager and she is starting tomorrow at the Provo location.) I told Jan that I didn't have the email for the new manager, so if she would please just forward it to the new manager that would be great. Well guess what happened? Jan called me a little bit later and got upset at me for the email. She basically said well it's kind of your fault anyway. She said I had left early the previous day, which I had, but I had gotten the girl that was taking over for me to come in early so I could leave early. So I hadn't just left. And the girl, Ann, that was the closing designer for the night, had come in over an hour late. Well none of that was mentioned in the phone call. She just got upset with me. So it was the final straw. I went upstairs and cried after the phone call and I called Spencer to talk to him. He said he would support me in whatever I decided. I decided to quit. I called Spencer and told him and then I called Jan and told her I quit. I said I would stay till 12 till Ann got there and then I would leave. And that I would work my shift the next day, but that I was done after that. Well a few hours later I got a call from Pete. He said, "in light of what happened today, Jan will be opening at the store tomorrow morning and it's probably best that you don't work together, so you should just clear out and go." So I took my key in and got all of my stuff and I am done.
And I am SO happy about it! A very real weight was lifted off of my shoulders when I quit and I was ecstatic about it. It was invigorating and felt so good. I have been so much happier this weekend. And I know that it kinda screwed them over, which they totally deserve. I was even supposed to help teach/train the new manager this week. So I am good enough to help teach the new manager, but I'm not good enough to be manager? So yeah. The fact that they kept siding with Ann, who is just downright not a good person, over me- their best worker and girl that had been there the longest and knew the most, was just terrible. It was completely wrong and I was sick of being treated like crap. And just to give you a little more insight to Ann. The night I quit, she sent me an email on facebook completely chewing me out-even cursing at me, saying 'you are so f-ingly selfish and immature.' She said lots more crappy stuff and I was just done with it. She had blocked me after sending it so I couldn't even respond. I just deleted it and I couldn't be happier that I don't work there anymore. I don't ever have to deal with those people again and I am so grateful!!

Anyway. So I am waiting to hear back from this other job that I applied to. I want to work there SO bad. They treat their workers so well and I really enjoyed the time I worked there. They paid me what they pay their temp workers, so come in and help them on Thursday and Friday because they were really busy. I really enjoyed working there! I had a second interview on Friday with one of the owners, so I am hoping and praying that I get the job!!! I guess I should say what it's for. It's a wholesaler here in Provo. They mass produce arrangement because they provide flower arrangements for a ton of grocery stores in the west. So I would just be a designer there, mass producing arrangements. I would love it! Prayers for it to work out for me would be wonderful, since we have no income right now. And prayers for Spencer to get accepted to the Media Arts Program would be much appreciated. Everything is turned in and he had his faculty interview, so now we just wait to find out. We will find out at the end of next month, the week after grades are posted. So we will keep everyone updated.
Sorry this post is SO long! It was very therapeutic for me to talk about everything that has been going on though. To those who read it all the way through, thank you for your time and I'm sorry it was so long. Love you all!